Have you ever went through a time of uncertainty, when you didn’t know what was going on in your life. When everything seemed out of kilter and you weren’t sure where God was taking you? Well, that has been my life for the past few months.

I have come to this ocean
And the waves of fear are starting to grow
The doubts and questions are rising with the tide
So I’m clinging to the one sure thing I know

It has been over two months since my last blog. I apologize for the absence, but it couldn’t be helped. God has put me in a time of rest it seems. He has slowed me down and then slowed me down some more, and all I can do is hold on. Not sure where it will all end, except that I know it will be His will. So I give way and hold on.

I have struggled, wondering what was going on. Being an independent person it is hard to give control over to someone, even when that someone is God. I want to take back the reins so to speak, I want to be able to demand details and answers, but that isn’t the way my God works. So I wait and hold on.

I will hold on to the hand of my Savior
And I will hold on with all my might
I will hold loosely to things that are fleeting
And hold on to Jesus, I will hold on to Jesus for life

I have been sensing pressure for more prayer. There seems to be an urgency in the air for more fervent prayer. So I storm the throne room of heaven with my pleas. For my kids and grand-kids; for my family and friends; for the church and those being persecuted. For the ones not yet believers. Binding the enemy from interfering with God’s plans. Binding the enemy from getting in the way of the Holy Spirit’s message to people’s hearts. So I pray more and hold on.

In my studies I am back in the New Testament, reading again through Paul’s epistle’s to the new-born church. Reading how God wanted them, and us, to grow, learn and develop deeper learning habits. How to live the way God wants us to with other believers. How not to turn and run when things get hard or hectic, but to trust and hold on.

I’ve tried to hold many treasures
They just keep slipping through my fingers like sand
But there’s one treasure that means more than breath itself
So I’m clinging to it with everything I am

Holding on is all I have been able to do, especially this last year as my health has become more intrusive into my life. It has changed my daily living so much that I find it hard to make plans, to keep plans and commitments; even to take care of myself.

It seems that God is stripping me bare down to the very core of my being, for whatever reason. Even though I don’t understand, I know He has His best in mind for me, so I will continue to hold on.

I will hold on to the hand of my Savior
And I will hold on with all my might
I will hold loosely to things that are fleeting
And hold on to Jesus, I will hold on to Jesus for life

Holding on. That is all I can do, yet it is the very thing He wants me to do. He wants me to yield control, He wants me to trust Him enough to let Him lead. He is my lamp in the darkness, showing me step by step the path He wants me to take. He can do the same for you if you can only reach out and grasp the hand He is holding out to you. His grip is firm and strong. He won’t let you slip.

Like a child holding on to a promise
I will cling to His word and believe
As I press on to take hold of that
For which Christ Jesus took hold of me

Years ago, in the early to mid-’90s; when Christian music was beginning to expand, I fell in love with a song that ended up becoming my life song. It describes how I feel about my relationship with Jesus; how I can do nothing more than hold on and let Him guide me through life. It is based on Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

So you see, all I can do is hold on. I am far from strong enough to stand on my own. I can’t make it a day without depending on Him for help. If that makes me a weak person, then thank God I am weak; because it is only in my weakness that His work can be done through me. This is why I based the name of this blog after that song.

So I will hold on to the hand of my Savior
And I will hold on with all my might
I will hold loosely to things that are fleeting
And hold on to Jesus for life
I will hold on to Jesus for life
I’ll hold on to Jesus, I will hold on to Jesus for life
Hold on for life

At least for now I am back. Thank you for not giving up on me and thank you for your prayers. Please continue them. I need as many as I can get.

Until next time, God bless.

~Brenda

Hold On To Jesus–Songwriters: JAMES ISAAC ELLIOTT, STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN© CAPITOL CHRISTIAN MUSIC GROUP, BMG Rights Management

For non-commercial use only.

Photo by Brenda Soto