Tossed Pinecone

Our family has been going through a rough patch these past few weeks. It has been one thing after another. First, we found out my uncle on my dad’s side had passed away. Since he lived out of state and lived alone, no one was contacted. We found out after the fact. My mom is devastated. We all are. Then my son had the unfortunate, horrific experience of witnessing a man setting himself on fire. Yeah, pretty terrible. I was so shocked when he told me. He’s now struggling to process and get beyond it. He lives out of state and as a mom, I just want to hold him, but I can’t. Finally, my aunt on my mom’s side, who has been sick for a while, just found out she has liver cancer. When will it end? What’s next?

My mind, mentally and emotionally, is staggering underneath the weight of everything piling up. Physically, I am losing a battle with my housework, as lately any energy has gone into outside winter prepping work. I am exhausted, in pain, parts of me are swollen, other parts are not working right and some hurt to move. I have even broke down crying. And I hate to cry.

I, even I, am He who comforts you.

Isaiah 51:12a

Blindsided. That is how I feel. I am still reeling. It doesn’t help matters that I am in an ongoing flare up of most of my health issues. All this is causing extra stress which doesn’t help things. On my own, I am struggling to hold on. To keep going. To want to go on. On my own, I know I wouldn’t survive.

It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking I will hear.

Isaiah 65:24

So what do I do? What would you do? I turn to my Abba Father in prayer. I am continually talking with Him; praying, seeking help, relief, comfort. Through communicating with Him in prayer and reading in His word, I gain strength. Praising Him in advance, knowing that nothing happens without God’s knowledge; I can rest knowing that He is in control and that He has only my best interests in mind. I remind myself of verses that speak of is love for me; of His care and concern for me.

Call to Me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.

Jeremiah 33:3

He is the only reason I am sitting here typing this. It is not just a cliché, He is my Anchor. He is my Fortress and my Strong tower. I shudder to even think about a life without Him in it.

Knowing that I have made it through previous struggles, my faith in Him is growing. I know that with His help and through His strength, I will make it through this time too. Since He has promised never to leave me, I am not alone. He is by my side and His Spirit is within me.

Until now, you have asked nothing in My name. Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

John 16:24

I hope you know this too. If you do, praise God! If you don’t, I can help you with that. Just ask.

Until next time. God bless.


                                                                                                        Photo by Sam Lake on Unsplash


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