Today was a hard day. I had to use the snow blower. Living in Montana, this is an expected thing, but hard when you already hurt. Plus, I help out family who are unable to do for themselves.
I hurt. And when I hurt, I have to fight the enemy, who wants to bring me down into the darkness of negativity, depression and despair. With multiple chronic illnesses, this is a daily battle for me. If it isn’t one or more of them, it is something else. It is always there.
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
It’s hard to fight. Fighting on any or all fronts takes a lot of energy; energy I do not have. But prayer makes a difference, so does reading the Word. At times I even struggle to do that too. Satan tries to keep me from gaining any help. He uses whatever it takes to try and keep me from seeking God. But I know the word. Some I have memorized; some the Holy Spirit brings back to my mind. Having read the bible over and over for years, so much is familiar to me. This saves me. I can use it to fight the enemy off.
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes, They stumbled and fell.
Remembering verses and the promises of the Lord gives me strength and helps remind me to stand firm against the enemy and pray. Having God to call upon for help and knowing that He will answer is my only hope. Seriously, I wouldn’t be here otherwise. I would have ended up taking my life long ago. It is that bad. Having God in my life for strength and help keeps me going every day. He is the love of my life. Like the verse says, ‘the Lord is my salvation‘. He is my reason for living, to keep going.
I know I have a future with Him. One day I will see Him face to face; that alone helps me endure anything. I can’t wait for heaven. Knowing I will have a new body; knowing I will have all the time in the world to spend with Him. Asking all the questions, worshiping Him; I can not wait! Some days I want it right now!
While I am still here even the strongest pain, even the continuous exhaustion doesn’t keep me down for long. I have a great network of prayer warriors both online and off that I can call on for help. God answers. My pain isn’t always taken away, my depression isn’t always totally lifted, but He helps me endure and gives the strength to go on. Sometimes it is eased or goes away completely. But regardless, He is there with me. I am never alone.
God promises to help us if we obey His word and if we call on Him. So many times we delay asking, trying to survive on our own. How that must hurt Him to watch us struggle, holding out His hand, only to have us ignore it. It needs to be our first action. Always. When He does answer, thank Him for it, don’t just take it for granted. Give praise where praise is due.
above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy
in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.
Tonight more snow is forecasted, this storm is supposed to be bigger than last night’s. So, tomorrow I will be out there snow blowing again. I am already praying for strength and praying against more pain. I will get through it, because I know my God will help me. His word promises me that.
Until next time, God bless.